it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize