so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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