i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You're breaking my sexual little heart
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
