I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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