I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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