Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize