i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
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Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
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Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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