This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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