I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
