Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
