i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
