Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
