Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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