I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
