Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
