I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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