I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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