that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
