Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
