Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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