sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
