I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize