ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
