no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
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Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
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I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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