I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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