Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize
