I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
