I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
