There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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