we're blogging at a bar
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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