if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
