My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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