I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Randomize
