okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
