she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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