So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
It was confusing and full of hummus
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Randomize
