she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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