So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
