Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Randomize
