Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
