escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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