Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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