Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
