my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
