he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
