everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I have feelings that need drinking.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
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