the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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