No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
