i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
