You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
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is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
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I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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