Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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