I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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