Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Someone shattered a urinal.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Randomize
