I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Randomize
