do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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