When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
