The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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