I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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