Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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