OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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