WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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